Quick, quick, slow….

Stop.

That’s what it feels like. One moment nothing seems to be moving on. Then there are significant changes. Then we stop.

We had to order a further 22 sheets of plasterboard this week as the previously delivered 190 sheets were all used up. This seems an extraordinary amount of plasterboard needed for one property. They are now all but fitted…with just a couple of sheets set aside for finishing the boiler room and the cloakroom.

Neil and Andy have also been finishing off a few awkward areas. A dollop of cement here and there. A touch of timber for reinforcement. A jiggery pokery with a drainpipe or two. I think you can tell my builders terminology has improved over the last 9 months.

I had my last exciting foray into the loft. Neil kindly lent me his paper suit to protect me from the worst of it up there. I managed to rip the backside out on a nail – which went deep enough to also rip my shorts and puncture my ass! I also split the leg seam open as I straddled a joist and caught another nail. Neil just laughed when I apologised about the state of his paper suit. Bless! When I emerged having completed the job, I was again soaked through to my undies and filthy. I am so, so, so very happy that there is no more loft insulation needed. It is truly a horrid job.

I purchased some Danish Oil to bring some life back into the numerous beams dotted around the house. Initially 2 litres, then another 2 litres. 8 litres later and I still have one beam to oil. It’s probably taken about 3-4 (wo)man days to do all the beams but they do look better for it. Each evening I retire to Mr. Clooney and count the rings of oil splattered across my arms and legs – and sometimes my face. I am not sure that Danish Oil is considered a beauty treatment elsewhere but it’s been a daily dose during the last week. I now have a silky glow and I am creaking less than I was!

It’s good news the plasterboard is finished because it means the plastering can start….but of course it can’t because there is still a shortage. My order is on its way and all things being well it should be with us on 29th June. Pete and Morgan are booked in to get started and should be with us for a few weeks. In the meantime, Neil and Andy depart for a while and get to work with other people. I’ve asked them not to enjoy that experience.

For me, this delay means time to obtain further quotes for tiling, painting and decorating, floor coverings, doors and more. I thought I had a tiler lined up but it seems inflation has hit hard in South Somerset as he wants a further £500+ to do the job. Sure I said. That makes sense, I said. Let me sign the cheque, I said.

OK I didn’t.

That is not going to happen. I gave him the go-ahead on his original quote pre-lockdown and presumed that was it. So now I need to reassess the tiling requirement. Neil tells me I can do it so I might just have a go. What can possibly go wrong?

Painting and decorating is a necessity too. I can do some but not all if I want the house finished before the end of the year (and if I am busy tiling!). So I have been meeting up with individuals to get quotes on the job. One fella told me 6 weeks minimum for the work – 30 days at his not insignificant day rate. I am not sure what is going on in South Somerset? Has the lockdown affected their common sense or do I have a sign on my forehead that says “this girl can be mugged”?

The other two quotes suggest 18-20 days max. I will do a couple of the rooms myself so hopefully save on that time too.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Plaster arrives a week this Monday which allows me a week to rest, recuperate, play golf, go shopping (for lights and stuff), get the car MOT’d, pay the bills (and boy are they big now) and go out to play.

Onwards…for the end is in sight!

One step at a time…

Actually, more than one step. We have the outline of a staircase. The original staircase was removed on 4 October last year. Since then we have been hauling materials and ourselves up and down a very long ladder, many times a day. At times it has been precarious.

The joy of having a useable staircase is immense. There is much to finish with it but not until after the plastering is complete as the handrail, newels, etc are all solid oak and we need to protect them from the inevitable mess to come. Jonathan, the carpenter, has also been fitting door linings and window boards.

Courtney, the plumber, has all but finished first fix. A day or two next week and then that will be it until the plastering is finished. A grand old job he has done too.

We have no idea when the plastering is due to take place. There is a shortage of materials, as a result of factory lockdowns – unless one fancies a little bidding war on Ebay. I have no intention of paying £30/bag when it is normally less than £6. Some people – pah!

The delivery of plasterboard was timely and Neil and Andy are getting on with it. The rooms are looking like rooms. Once the boards are in place, it means the final layer of insulation can be installed. This is a less complex job which means it’s perfect for me. Much of the insulation is positioned between the walls and floor/ceiling joists.

But….there is of course the loft insulation and by golly, that is a dreadful job. Covered from head to toe, wearing a mask etc I hauled myself up a ladder along with roll after roll of 150mm insulation. First layer rolled one direction between the joists. Second layer across the joists. 300mm of warmth. Building regs satisfied.

Easy job. Except of course this property is ancient so the roof space is a mini assault course. My ducking and diving technique has improved. Professional boxers would be impressed, although I did manage to get a few sharp cracks on the head – one of which could / should have been a technical knock out!

Easy job. Except for the requirement to balance precariously on the ceiling joists whilst squatting underneath the beams in order to roll out the insulation. Another option is to kneel along the joists and shuffle along. Painful and bruised knees follow. A missed footing and the newly installed plasterboard would be ruined. A quick stretch to release the muscle tension generally means a thump on the head, back etc. Refer to previous paragraph.

Easy job. Unless you are terrified of spiders, webs and other scuttling insects who were suddenly unnerved by my presence. There is an itchy-ness working with insulation but that does not compare to face planting a lived-in spiders web in the near-dark, overheated conditions of a loft.

Easy job. Except we are having a mini heatwave. I went in pale and resurfaced pillar box red, soaked through and absolutely filthy. Even my socks had to be rung out.

There are spiders making their nests as I take this photo!

When I returned to Mr. Clooney and stripped naked (I’ve always wanted to say that!), a couple of errant spiders ran out of my hair! (I’ve never wanted to say that!).

The good news is that I have insulated half the loft.

Half.

Guess what I am going to be doing next week.

Mercy, mercy me…