And another ‘thing’…

Sometimes this project feels like Bake Off. Except every round of the competition is a Technical – with scant written instruction – and I never win Star Builder. That normally goes to Neil or Andy or …

Mind you, I never lose either so I can’t complain.

During the past few months its been tiling week, painting week, skirting week, architrave week and so on. This week has been….kitchen and utility week. Yay! One to look forward to.

Exciting and terrifying at the same time. Exciting because for me a kitchen makes a home. Terrifying because there is a reason we rarely hear of people fitting their own kitchens. It can be complex. It requires precision and careful thought. Not my go-to attributes. I am obviously not ‘fitting it myself’ – Neil is here and as always I am his Aged Apprentice.

I decided on the kitchen layout months ago. Took the measurements. Sorted the design, chose the supplier, etc. Then the chosen supplier told me the kitchen I provisionally booked was no longer available. I reluctantly chose another one. They put the price up expecting me to sign the cheque. Not going to do that. I went to another supplier so I was a little apprehensive when the truck arrived on Monday afternoon with piles and piles of boxes.

Not my first choice but it’s looking good and I am pleased. There is a lot of measuring. Measure, measure and measure again. A lot of cutting (routing in this case) and that’s for Neil. A lot of putting things together. Hinges, doors, corner units, larders and more. The instruction manual has over 120 pages, lots of illustrations that don’t make sense to me, many with words I don’t understand. There is a large box just containing packets of …well, stuff. I recognise some things like screws and hinges but I honestly have no idea what some of the other things are.

Where does this ‘thing’ go; what does this ‘thing’ do ..can be heard bouncing off the walls. Along with “oh Alison you numpty” “what an idiot” and other such statements as I chat merrily to myself whilst working out how to put things together.

Neil chats to himself too but he says things like “13.5mm from the right edge!”

Every now and again I ask Neil to re-interpret the instruction manual and explain what I need to do in a simpler language for me to follow. He is a patient man. I think I have said that before.

It took me almost half a day to assemble the 1000mm drawer unit whilst Neil practically fitted out the Utility Room. Once finished, and with vocalised glee, I picked up one of the drawers and the front fell off!

I sorted that minor glitch and slid the drawer into the base unit. “Hurrah” I said and stepped back. ‘Perhaps not” I said as the drawer sat at a wonderfully creative lopsided angle. Another minor glitch which I also sorted. It now looks and works fine!!

Every kitchen comes with hundreds of little plastic covers to fill in the pre-drilled holes that are not needed. Just as well because this kitchen now has a couple of extra holes as my measuring skills are not as accurate as they need to be. It is literally a case of millimetre accuracy. I started borrowing Neil’s glasses – that helped.

So mostly I have done OK. I did have to order another cabinet when we realised my original design measurements failed to allow for 40mm of end panels….but hey, I am a beginner at this. A costly mistake and I won’t make it again.

Neil has done the heavy work. Cutting down the cupboards in the utility room to ensure they fit; allowing for the plumbing pipes in the back of the cupboards and of course cutting the worktops including the huge holes for the sinks. I couldn’t look when the sink hole was being cut.

Four solid days done and it’s looking good. We think another couple of days at the same pace and I should have a proper kitchen. Of course, it won’t work because it needs to be plumbed in, and the electrics need to be finished.

But the drawers will open and close

…once I work out how to put the handles on.

Author:

Not really a builder. Nor a girl in the youthful sense of the word. More a marketing woman. But needs must, and some effort has to go into sorting out this property. So a job change, a deep breath and off we go.

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