My dreams are going a bit weird here.
I wonder if it’s because of the luxurious accommodation or the fact that I go to bed pretty exhausted and my little brain wanders off into some hopeful land of merriment to keep me cheery.
In one of my dreams I have been asked by some unrecognised wealthy entrepreneur – not someone I know – to build houses wherever I want and give them away to those that need them most. The first build means me travelling to Scotland….with Mr. Clooney in tow. I don’t have a tow bar on my car so I made one out of a door knob and a hosepipe. Absolutely no idea what that all means.
I also had a dream about marrying a professional rugby player who also loves playing golf. But I’ve had that dream for years and to be fair I am normally awake when it occurs! I also know exactly what it means and who the rugby player is!!
My new found beauty regime is going well. The dust and dirt application was the chosen method for a while but I have moved on. I shower at least once a day now and then cover myself in a mix of emulsion, vinyl, silk and eggshell paint. This requires a great deal of expertise. Sometimes I do it delicately by splashing a little drip here and there from a roller or brush – a method that is particularly useful for face splatter. Other times I am more carefree and simply drop a paint pot from height to encourage a more artistic coverage. Either way is effective.
Anyway, back to business. Although much of the painting is complete (thanks again, Stuart) there are still a number of rooms to finish. Ceilings are particularly difficult. My height does not lend itself to this job and I am mostly balancing on the top rung of a very high ladder to do the work. My reach is also limited so I am up and down the ladder several hundred times a day at the moment. My calves are sore. My wrists are sore. My thumbs are sore. And I think I have painters elbow – if that exists.
That’s all I have done all week. Paint.
I have been on my own. No trades. No visitors. So I have formed a very deep relationship with a number of spiders that share my bedroom. There is Mr. Speedy – a large long legged fella that can cross the room in less than a couple of seconds. On first sight he scared me silly…but I am used to him now. There there is Mr. Acrobat who hangs around most of the day, dangling at varying heights from his ceiling-based web. He can reach down to my coffee mug but I have warned him against a possible overdose of caffeine. He appears to have taken it on board. Our Mr. Lethargic has positioned himself on my ceiling and cannot be bothered to move at all. There’s always one! And finally, Mr. Jacuzzi who lives in the shower and appears to get quite excited when the hot water sprays about. He runs around wildly avoiding the spray (I imagine shouting out loud) but always returns in readiness for the next shower.
I would get rid of them (humanely of course) but I suspect they would only be replaced by other family members. I see them as my guardians – but I do have a little concern about their goings-on at night when the lights are out and I am sleeping. I have not yet felt a tickle on my face – or worst still in my throat – but I would be worried if one of them went missing overnight and I woke up feeling full!
The house has broadband now – only took 3 months from order – so my entertainment is a little more interesting. I have access to Netflix and other such delights but I still spend most of my evenings checking on prices and ordering materials whilst listening to podcasts. There is a growing shortage of manufactured materials and delivery times are getting longer for everything so I will be finalising a lot of orders over the next week or so as a precaution to the longer lead times or (hopefully not) another lockdown.
Next week will be much more engaging. For me…still more painting but the carpenter returns. That’s Jonathan, not the old fella from 2000+ years ago.